Somehow

Suicide, anxiety, these thoughts fill up my brain
This guilt i hold inside of me is driving me insane.
I have this urge to kill myself, and splatter paint my walls
But Nothing hurts like knowing that you don't have the balls.
I want to reconnect with you and mend our broken fences,
But now my name is black to you from all these false pretenses.
And if i fixed them anyways it wouldnt be the same,
Because we both have some problems that cant be overcame.

But know that its not lack of care that brought us to this fate
Its just the world we live in; full of people, full of hate.
I promise i have wished you no ill will, and done no harm
But nothing i could say to you would ever break that charm
You listen to their bullshit; fall victim to their lies,
And now theres no one left but me to hate and to despise

You never listened anyways in the past few months
I just hid the pain away and smoothed out all the bumps
But soon my heart got tired, and my father filled with rage
And finally decided, id fall out of my cage.

And much like birds first learning flight, the ground must meet a few,
And i have hit rock bottom because of how i treated you.

Your words hit like daggers but im sure youd say the same
So i cant seem to shake this intense embrace of pain
Just know that if you reading this that i still love
you,
Somehow.

Claws

If their absence brings you peace,
let them go.
Some hold on quite tight though.

The crab clipped the cranes wing,
swiftly lifting the bird started flapping
claws close tighter, a fighter
Shreeking shrill sounds, a flyer
Grasping gripping the crab keeps slipping
but every time nipping, digging deeper
Shake, the birds attempt to break binds of battle
claws rip then clip the tip and fall

oym

Do you think of me as much as i think of you,
Who am i even talking to?
Let me know if youve got a clue,
The fuck am i supposed to do.